An opening

Coincidences. Watching the sky change colors just out of sight. How did I get here , after years of sighs and tears and now there s a vague sense of hope, a smile forming on my lips, hours spent talking about nothing in particular and everything.
An opening. Listening. To that voice that once got squelched and hid somewhere under endless strata of 'shoulds' and 'ought to" . I am tired of wasting that precious time I have been given. It really won't come back ever again so why pretend that's an illusion ?
The mountain looms in the forefront of my vision but the little man advances step by step, going forward with his pack on the shoulders. When he gets to the top he might take something out of it and watch it intently. Did I really need this up here ? Was it worth it carrying it all the way up ?
Dreaming of solutions resting in the future is like floating on artificially salted water. It's not the real thing is it ? And I don't want to live through others, through their dreams, allowing my envy to surface and destroy all that makes me feel whole and alive.
I rather follow the risky road. It is time to let some light in and walk on that tightrope again. I might fall but this box has become too tight and safe. It's stifling, dark and I cannot breathe. If it was about being safe I would be better off dead.
So I choose to focus on the increasing light over the horizon. It's grey and weak right now but I know the hours are getting longer and the time will come when I can come out in my short sleeves and my summer dress and shout my love from the rooftops like a crazy woman once again.

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