Reflections on memory...

Memory. Identity. A story. Are you your story ? If so, what happens when you forget it ? What if you ever do ? Are you gone or is it  still you ? Memory is so crucial because it helps us define who we are. And yet we are more than a sequence of past events. We still live in the present when our memory is gone. 

Love. What happens to love when we cannot remember who we loved yesterday ? and if love is gone too, how much it is just memory, past association to pleasure and attachment to dreams of  future pleasure ? Could we still love without a memory ? 

So much of our lives is dependant on memory. Losing it is worse than losing a limb. But for whom is it worse ? Those who lose it or those who watch us lose it ? If you cannot remember what you have forgotten it is certainly confusing but not as bad as watching someone forget they ever knew you. That is like erasing years of loving care with one swipe and it must hurt like nothing else.

I always find it mind boggling how we take our bodies for granted. We are our bodies, and that does include the mind. We are a thinking feeling machine, and when the machine breaks down where do we go ? Are we still there ? Just think of when you had a high fever and you started thinking weirdly and having delirious dreams. You possibly werent even feeling like yourself, whatever that means (dependant on the memory you had of you before the fever) and certainly did not feel in control of your mind or body. What does that tell you about your identity ?

It seems to me that what we experience as ourselves is both a miracle and an illusion. There is no such thing as a permanent real me. There is just a flux of ever changing consciousness which is dependant on our bodily state at any given moment (over which we do have some control ) until something temporarily or permanently damages the machine and we fall ill or die. 

So perhaps we should just marvel at this strange manifestation of life we happen to embody and enjoy it while it lasts. You never know when it s going to change or end...