I stopped writing on this blog when I discovered my mother was reading it...
And now 5 years later, here I am again. STILL ALIVE. Just.
I am about to publish my first book. I am about to publish my 11th? 12th? album. I actually don't remember the number anymore. I know, it sounds wanky. The reality is... I actually have stopped counting. Because it doesn't really matter does it?
I mean... a long time ago, or maybe not so long ago I used to write music in the hope that I would be famous someday. I have now given up that idea. Not only I have realized that this world is not a meritocracy but I also realized that it's absolute madness to put your self-worth into someone else's hands.
Why should some stranger's opinion be more valuable to me than my own? That is madness! The trouble is, my own opinion of myself, for many years, depended on other people's approval. That is why it was so important to 'succeed' - that is - win as many people's approval as possible.
All I really wanted was a good pat on the shoulder, a million copies of the album sold, a big applause on TV. Something like that. And when it didn't come, mainly because I didn't really try to push my music, I thought it must be because I was just not good enough.
Sounds familiar? What a bore! This is the story of so many of us... and it is so sad to strive for something like this because this approval is NEVER going to come from the outside. You just have to stop trying to get it and you have to give it to yourself, regardless.
So now I have given up. All I really want is to create. To make more music. To make better music. To play it WITH people I like. To have some fun! Life is too short to care about 'making it'. What if making it actually means being happy doing what you do? What if we made space for that, instead of constantly striving to get more likes on FB, Instagram and twitter?
Even if you are an 'influencer' or you have a million followers, what really matters is whether you have a real friend with whom to share the sheer joy of being alive.
I am about to publish my first book. I am about to publish my 11th? 12th? album. I actually don't remember the number anymore. I know, it sounds wanky. The reality is... I actually have stopped counting. Because it doesn't really matter does it?
I mean... a long time ago, or maybe not so long ago I used to write music in the hope that I would be famous someday. I have now given up that idea. Not only I have realized that this world is not a meritocracy but I also realized that it's absolute madness to put your self-worth into someone else's hands.
Why should some stranger's opinion be more valuable to me than my own? That is madness! The trouble is, my own opinion of myself, for many years, depended on other people's approval. That is why it was so important to 'succeed' - that is - win as many people's approval as possible.
All I really wanted was a good pat on the shoulder, a million copies of the album sold, a big applause on TV. Something like that. And when it didn't come, mainly because I didn't really try to push my music, I thought it must be because I was just not good enough.
Sounds familiar? What a bore! This is the story of so many of us... and it is so sad to strive for something like this because this approval is NEVER going to come from the outside. You just have to stop trying to get it and you have to give it to yourself, regardless.
So now I have given up. All I really want is to create. To make more music. To make better music. To play it WITH people I like. To have some fun! Life is too short to care about 'making it'. What if making it actually means being happy doing what you do? What if we made space for that, instead of constantly striving to get more likes on FB, Instagram and twitter?
Even if you are an 'influencer' or you have a million followers, what really matters is whether you have a real friend with whom to share the sheer joy of being alive.
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